Remember Milli Vanilli? Loved them! Today I am blaming my attitude on the rain that just keeps falling here in Ohio. Granted, it's better than snow but I'm ready for spring. Our mini weeping willow has soft cottony blooms bursting through. While on home visits I've seen delicate verdant shoots trying to reach the sun, so spring, I know you're near!
Back to how I'm feeling today. I'm trying so hard not to be bitter, jealous, angry about those who can have children. Today I saw on a blog I follow that they are expecting and it breaks my heart. I want to be happy for them, despite knowing them in any way besides through a blog, but it's so hard. I cannot stop thinking "it's so unfair." I then have to remind myself that I am not special, nor do I deserve anything any more than anyone else. While these thoughts do help at times the "why me's" are louder than the "why should it be me's?"
I am trying to decide what to give up for Lent, despite being Catholic, I think we all need to have more restraint and dedication in our lives (especially mine!) Perhaps I'm being easy on myself but I want to give up something I know I can stick to for 40 days, so besides giving up smoking and drinking (neither of which I do) I'm not sure I can give up anything and stick to it.
Here is what I'm thinking of so far:
Diet Coke, I'm really surprised when I get blood drawn it doesn't come out carbonated.
Reading blogs, or should I say those not dedicated to JUST home interiors etc, to avoid the baby announcements.
Feeling sorry for myself.
Being bitter.
When I decide I'll post, not that anyone reads this or anything, but at least I can say I did it.
No comments:
Post a Comment